and to make it worst, 
the sense of urgency,
to change,
somehow, did not appear, 
that makes me feel 'innocent', 
doing these things that i would, 
condemn so much, 
if other people were doing it. 
but i believe, 
GOD wont put you any burden, if you cant withstand the load. 
and i believe, 
when my goals are starting to appear clearer, 
the intense thoughts about you, will fade away, 
i hope it's for the better ..
soon, my goals will take over my mind ..
and i will let it take control of my body ...
so that i can take control of my life .. 
god bless :)
